Did you know that [counter] people have been having a skeg at my little autonomous region?

  

More Elaines

15/09/2013

Flushed with pride from the plaudits I received for my earlier work ‘We Are Seacroft!’ I thought I’d have a crack at another one. So this is a little something that I knocked up in my tea breaks this week. I quite enjoyed doing this so until someone tells me it’s crap I’m going to keep writing them.

 

More Elaines

 

It’s such a bloody awful shame

There aren’t more people like Elaine.

Pulling pints was what she did

When I was just a spotty kid

To quench my thirst and numb my brain.

 

I’m sure she must have known we’d been

Not much older than sixteen.

She’d let us in and sell us beer,

But deep inside we’d always fear

That proof of age had to be seen.

 

Her beady eye and Yorkshire charm

Meant there was always peace and calm.

A place so safe to go and drink

On Saturday night and not have to think

Of life outside the Cricketers’ Arms.

 

As long as we never did owt bad

Like cuss or fight to drive her mad

She’d let us sit and drink and smoke.

But we shut our gobs whenever she spoke

As if for the night she’d become our dad.

 

The kids today must find it hard

As from the pubs they’re always barred.

Instead for fun they find the need

To drink cheap cider and smoke their weed

In shop doorways or a cold graveyard.

 

Some rob and steal to buy cocaine.

But politicians just don’t have the brains

To see that youngsters’ mindless crime

Could be prevented half the time

If they’d only give us more Elaines.

 

Terry Mullan, September 2013

 

The Cricketers' Arms in Seacroft, Leeds in the good old days. Note the absence of hoodlums, urchins and glue sniffers.

The Cricketers' Arms in Seacroft, Leeds in the good old days.

Note the absence of hoodlums, urchins and glue sniffers.

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