Did you know that [counter] people have been having a skeg at my little autonomous region?


The Happening


Something has happened this week that has made me feel better about myself and convinced me more than ever that my grand plan to escape and follow an alternative lifestyle is a good plan.

This something that happened has made me think more about how I live my life, about how I tolerate those people who can’t accept that because I am different to them I am not necessarily a bad person and about the unique way in which I express my feelings in the written word.

This something that has happened probably means that we will have some new visitors on my blog website which made me think that perhaps I should polish up my act a bit and stop slagging off Scum fans, politicians, dodgy twenty first century people who describe themselves as rock and pop stars, people who were sorry to see Thatcher go, people who think that every single one of the people who live on welfare benefits are scrounging parasites, people who think that everyone who isn’t as English as Mary Poppins should be sent back to where their ancestors were born decades or even centuries ago, people who enjoy watching moronic escapist cak like Eastenders and Doctor Who on telly, people who think that there might be a god up there somewhere, and people who believe everything that they read in the Daily Mail (which sums up most of the previous categories of people I have mentioned really).


Daily Mail Father Ted


This something that happened made me think that perhaps I should stop using words like arse and gobshite and dickhead in my blogs. Not very nice words really but they always fit the bill perfectly in what I am trying to say.

This something that happened is very exciting. If I pursue it I may end up living most of the year in another country and earning a living in a much more exciting and stimulating way than than I do chopping the nasty bits off the pedal extremities of Gladys and Doris and Mabel, which I don’t dislike as I meet nice people like Gladys and Doris and Mabel, and it has gone a long way to finance my wander lust. So although I feel quite privileged to have such a rewarding job I feel I will never be able to describe as exciting.

But I am afraid that this something that happened will not change the way that I pour my heart out on here. The wish to express myself as I really am is something that has been a huge part of me for many, many years and it is something that can never change, no matter what else changes in my life.

But this something that has happened has changed my life in that I am much more optimistic than I had been. I have always needed things to be changing in my life. I have a self-destruct button which I press when things are going well as I need a bit of a challenge to keep my mind alive. I feel like I am only in my comfort zone when I am out of my comfort zone. My world will change in the next year or two and, although I am not totally convinced that those changes will go smoothly, I can’t wait for them to take place. I sort of suspect that I have lived about two thirds of my life already. So bring on that final third . . . it’s going to be an absolute blast!

Number of comments: 1

20/04/2013 15:15:28 - Paul Ridge, E-mail address is hidden, www.paulridgeblog.com

I take it you got the gig as the new presenter of Holiday 2014, then ? Either that or they're shooting a new series of An Idiot Abroad and Pilks can't make it ?? :)

Well done and good luck with the magazine work, fella - I always enjoy reading anything you write.